Why is it that I can never sleep and always find myself on the internet trawling for something interesting or some magic answer to falling asleep!
Adding to my concern is the fact that the people online at this time of night are absurd and are really lonely (either that or their axe wielding maniacs). Their comments are sad and disturbing and at different level of peversion to those who I chat with during daylight hours.
It worries me that I constantly find myself chatting with such characters so late at night, and so often for that fact. I am just one of them? Am I the same as them? Do people view me online as I see myself or do they judge me as harshly? Questions for the universe I guess.
I've noticed friends recently adding a list of 25 random facts about themselves so I thought I'd give it ago myself.
Here goes ....
1. I have clothes in my cupboard that range from size 8 - 16! What is with that? And people wonder why eating disorders exist.
2. A friend had an abortion last year and I went to the clinic with here. Scariest moment of my life so far. Still don't know what I think...
3. I have a 'to win a noble prize' on my bucket list. As Robert Browning said "A man's grasp should exceed his reach, else what's a heaven for."
4. I try to tell myself every day that I'll become a vegan but have to settle to attempting being a vegetrain and at least stop animal the slaughter of animals.
5. I hate my body and wish I was the size 0 that is constantly slapped in my face by the media.
6. Black Books and Couplings are two awesomes shows and the British are far better at comedy than Americans ever could be.
7. I am half way through writting my first novel but I started it when I was 10.
8. I am taller than any of my other family members.
9. I'm allegic to cats, bees and stupid people.
10. I have had cellulite since I was 3 and will die with much more.
11. I will never give up chocolate! Never! Never! Never! and you can't make me.
12. I often get told that I look like no one and that's exactly how I like it. As I would rather be ugly and an individual than plastic beauty and someone that always reminds people of someone else.
13. My second toe is as long as my big toe and no I'm not a monkey but yes I can pick things up with my feet.
14. I strongly dislike people who think Uni is the only option... do what you want to do, if you live your life for someone else it won't be the one of your dreams.
15. The most common misconception that people make about me is that I'm shallow and superficial. Alot of people think I talk alot and am like that all the time.. it offends me, I have two distinct sides (I guess like everyone) and people who think that haven't seen the other side. Maybe they'd realise this if they got to know me a little better.
16. I plan on travelling within the next 12 months.
17. Hate people that have the intellect of a parrot. They hear what other people think and then copy it. Get your own ideas people!
18. Has broken bones a total of six times in my life.
19. Gets angry at people blaming everyone else for their existence ... if you want things to be different stop whinging and change it as no one else will do it for you.
20. Gets angry at facebook for spoiling all lifes little pleasures.
21. Believes the Bush government treated their people like cows on a cattle truck.
22. Is kind of scared by technology and what effects it can have on your life. That said I am a complete sucker for everything new and exciting.
23. Total impulse buyer. Put it near the checkouts and I will consider it.
24. Hates people who are homophobic and can't understand why people can judge others by their sexuality.
25. Loves tattoos but don't have any as I would be disowned if I ever got any.
Holidays are drawing to a close which means packing and heading home. I always feel the sting of sadness on the journey home. I leave with the sensation of a haunting which is trying to awaken something that I have forgotten, ignored, or unconsciously found.
Life is such a curious gift. We have an infinite means of power, thought and action but we consistently fall short of fulfilling our optimum ability. We use so little of the power our body provides and live to short and stunted existence. Why be given such a gift to only ignore the privilege that it is?
Currently on holidays and consequently discovering myself.
It's interesting how when you hide you are lost but when there is light you can discover your life. Holidays create the moments in life when you learn something new about who you are which is intrinsically important to shaping the rest of your life. I always come home with a new perspective and appreciation of life and frankly myself. Travel changes your story and the direction of your life. It diverts your current path and creates a new future full of unseen opportunities and circumstances.
I guess all actions in your life have a consequence. Somehow I don't perceive the effect of my everyday yet I always notice the significance and opportunity of holidays.
Where to begin ... me…I'm average but that’s how I like it. It allows me to think, read and discover without any pressure to ‘be’ someone or something. I’m used to being me and invisible but I feel like there is more to this existence. I want discover beyond myself and my culture and find the opportunity that I don’t here.
I’m not sure about this online adventure I’m use to being lost in literature and images not the internet. I figure it’s a natural step forward for someone of my generation so I’m using this blog to introduce myself.